Two Meditations

Meditations For A Protracted Self-Destruction:

Imagine the taste of ash.
Imagine your brain is a piece of steel wool.
Imagine cigarette smoke has ruined all the walls of your apartment.
Maybe you should try yoga.
Contemplate a burning down of the self.
Realize that this is not a Zen pursuit to achieve knowledge and personal simplicity, but a below the surface explosion of violence that perpetually cuts deep till the scraps resemble nothing.
Chain smoke, and pursue that thought until madness.
Don’t sleep.
Repeat until self-destruction complete.

 

Meditations For Avoidance of Self-Destruction

Think about San Francisco. Use photos if you forget what San Francisco looks like.
Think about the smiles of all of the Portland girls who smiled.
Think about fresh coffee.
Think about flawless sentences applied to the page like brushstrokes to a masterwork that is just beginning to take shape.
Think about softly kissing all of your favourite places on their body.
Contemplate that your plants that you bought months ago are all still alive, and growing.
Reflect on the calm, steady growth of a succulent.
Hear the static pops on a fresh, brand new vinyl record.
Remember what Victoria looks like in March, when all the cherry blossoms emerge.
Maybe you should try yoga.
Rebuild the self from this core group of thoughts.
Focus.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Focus.
Start again.

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