I wrote something like 1,200 words this week. Also, I shaved off the beard I was cultivating. So both of my November pursuits seemed to die horrific deaths during this off-work-stretch. However, sometimes a good solid work stoppage is something I need to inflict on myself. Not because I’m worried I’ll “lose myself in the project” or “will work too hard” or any of that bullshit. No, I’ll stop working when I hit a point where I need to stop and think about the direction I’m going to go in. That usually means I spend the next big chunk of days living my life and thinking over and over again about what the next chapter looks like, the next paragraph, the next sentence, the next word even.
This can be both good and bad.
Good, because it doesn’t lead to shitty words. Bad, because it can lead to no words at all. I’ll spend a significant amount of time listening to music, trying to find the correct groove to move forward in. This leads to many instances of jiving along to a song, opening the word document, and then doing abso-fucking-lutely nothing, because the vibe just wasn’t as balls-out awesome as required. I usually also think up entire novels in the shower during this period, novels that I then don’t do a single thing with once I’m all dry. This stretch of non-productivity can stretch on for serious time. It can be months before another big chunk gets slapped on to the draft.
I’m around 40 pages of non-double spaced manuscript into this new novel. I’m loaded down with tons of ideas, tons of words and lots of direction. Its fucking awesome. However, even with all of those ideas I am still not immune to these work-stoppage times. Regardless though, things are going good. The only thing I’ve yet to kind of get on complete lockdown is the theme of the novel, the “what’s it all about?” Not in terms of plot, but in terms of that gut feeling you get when you read a good piece of literature. I’m still looking for that.
However, the song Doom and Gloom by the Rolling Stones has been on a steady repeat these last few days. There’s a couple lines in that song that have kicked away some cobwebs. I’m not out of the woods and back into the work just yet, but things are looking a little brighter than the did days ago. At least I’m not eating dirt and living at the side of the road.
So, what’s it all about?
Guess it just reflects my mood.